One of the main challenges between lovers often boils down to ineffective communication resulting in misunderstandings. Communication is something that you must continue to work at in a relationship. Imagine if your partner said "Well, I brushed my teeth so now I don't ever have to do that again. Scary thought!
Keep in mind that sexual issues are quick to bring up our insecurities. Therefore, keeping things positive and reassuring is the best way to go. If you do not like something that your partner is doing tell them gently like saying “I am not as aroused by that as when you do this...” It ends the constructive criticism with a positive affirmation of something that you do enjoy.
Here are three ways to approach your lover-
- Whispering that you love when your partner does something that you enjoy is a good place to start to provide positive affirmations.
- If you want specifics you can also tell them you want to show them how you play with yourself and ask if they would like to watch. As you do that, you can tell them specifically what you love about what you are doing so that they become aware of what is pleasurable for you.
- Finally, you can talk to your partner about sharing your fantasies with one another and describe to each other what you really want.
The bottom line is that they will not know what you want unless you tell or show them, so be creative and find the best way for you to share your desires with them.
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